Miata Mailing List: August 1995, Message #169
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   From: phredd@infi.net
Subject: I gotta get a life.
   Date: Thu, 3 Aug 1995 09:42:59 -0400

        +++  Some time really late at night, Disciple, Chuck Price mused:

>We might as well settle this colour issue here and now.  Once
>and for all.  In late 1990 there was a celestial meeting of the
>Kansei Council who report directly to God in all matters
>regarding automobiles  such as:  "racy - well designed -
>pleasant to gaze upon and drive, affordable, etc".  After all,
>the original concept and design of the Miata was a divine
>inspiration directly from God herself to begin with.  While She
>sees all cars of all colours in an equal light, it is no secret
>that Her personal roadster is a BRG-SE Miata.
>
>When She was asked of Her colour choice for Her Roadster by the
>council, She said (and I quote, this is all in the BRG Registry
>if you want to look it up):  "Go forth and colour My Roadster
>the colour of the deepest lake combined with the colour of the
>darkest forest and the black of the midnight sky.  And verily,
>I say, make of the interior the colour of the sands of the
>eternal desert of the Earth..  This, then, shall be the TRUE
>Miata colour for My Roadster and I shall call it BRG!  Then
>make 4000 more of them for the 'Special Ones' on Earth.  And
>number them in the sequence of their build and create a plaque
>for them upon which shall be inscribed 'Special Edition' with
>the Special One's name and the car's number of build.  But take
>care that ye make no more than 4000!"  And when she saw her
>BRG-SE, She said:  "I am pleased!, REAL pleased!".
>
>Now God has a lot of cars, and She loves them all.  But her
>favourite one is her BRG-SE Miata.  After all, every day in
>heaven is 'top-down' so it gets driven a lot!  Her SE number is
>#0 of 4000.  (Mine is #896, by the way.)  And that, you
>infidels of the other colours, is the true story of how the
>BRG-SE came about and why your car doesn't have a plaque.
>'Nuff said about this colour stuff.
>
>Chuck Price, Puget Sound Miata Club
>............................  Bless you.



        +++  This is just the kind of blind, reckless, incantatory, babble
we might expect from somebody who worships a *Babe God*!
        I, of course, represent the *real* God. A Dude. The Head Dude.

        For those who may think *I* created the Message in my signature . .
 I did not. My signature used to say, "If You Don't Believe Me, Ask Dot
Matricks, Our M.I.S."

        Then I bought my '93 Red A.

        The next morning I logged on, as usual, and called on Eudora to
deliver my mail. In addition to the normal 3 or 4 messages I get everyday
from colleagues and pen pals with such ponderous subjects as Cool New Web
Sites, Does Finder Ever Freeze Up On You When You Press CONTROL And THE
APPLE KEY Whilst Initializing A DOS Disc?, and How About Lunch?, there were
88 more.

        They bore titles like RE: Performance Exhaust Systems, Re: Turbo
vs. Superchargers, Re: Cops In Your Driveway, and a message from *some nut*
named Mac who tried to tell me that I had single-handedly destroyed the
communications infrastructure for the
Defense of the United States of America (along with some very helpful info
about Miatadom - thanx again, Mac [see below]).
        The night before, being both a Fool and a Mortal, I had sent out a
message to some arcane address I found on the Web saying "Subscribe Miata."
It included an advance apology in case I was screwing up the works and
needlessly sending this message all over the world, as I had never before
tried subsribing to a list.
        What I now found in my mailbox was that same message returned along
with 87 others of the ilk in the previous paragraph.

        When I opened the one with my email address on it and the title,
"Subscribe Miata," I was amazed to see old Dot Matricks portion of my
signature replaced with the message, "God's Miata is Red!"

        *I* did not put this there! It appeared spontaneously all by itself!

        I can only conclude that God, HIMself, did it. God has chosen *me*
as HIS instrument to spread the True Miata Gospel to the lower world!
Therefore, I shall go forth and assemble the ignorant masses and tend to
their . . . . .

        And, BTW (I've finally used one of those swell Netcronyms), Chuck,
I think Crest with Flouristan will take car of that plaque on your car.




        Below:

        Well you did it! Your message went out to the entire InterNet and
killed so much bandwith teh whle net came crashing down earlier today. Even
the old ARPANet is down. Now government agencies cannot get information,
airplanes canot arrive on schedule, banks are folding, Wall St. is crashing
because teh automated sell programs cannot communicate with the automated
buy computers, ATM's everywhere are refusing to give back the cards to
their users. The prime interest rate has just climbed to 34% since credit
card authorizations no longer work. CNN is having problems because UPI, AP,
and Reuters are shut down. NASA cannot send vital information up to the
Space Shuttle and the astronauts will probably die. A roomfull of hackers
in Houston cannot play DOOM 2 over the net so they are pissed, and your
message was received by a computer in a silo in South Dakota and
interpreted as a launch code for an ICBM-MIRV, so the world as you know it
is gone. Feel better now? ;)
        Mac

--------------------------------------------------------

        Fred Donour, Jr.
        XCIII RED A
        Norfolk, Virginia

        (a.k.a. on the Net as Cary C. Kretts of the
         Sentrul Inteligents Ajency)

         God's Miata is Red!