Miata Mailing List: November 1997, Message #212
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From: 	Bill Kellenberger <bkellenb@mail.win.org>

Subject: Insanity in the workplace

Date: 	Sun, 2 Nov 1997 21:43:35 +0000



HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY IN THE WORKPLACE:



1.  Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)

2.  Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them what you're

doing.  For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom".

3.  Hi-lite your shoes.  Tellpeople that you haven't lost your shoes

since you did this.

4.  Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tellpeople

you're waiting for your document.

5.  Insist that your e-mail address be "zena_goddess_of_fire@anyname.com



6.  Every time someone asls you to do something, ask them if they want

fries with that.

7.  Send e-mail to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate

about the direction of one of your company's products.  Forward the mail

to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.

8.  Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair

dancing.

9.  Determine how many cups of coffee is "too many."

10.  Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

11.  Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy Brady and Danny

Partridge.  Try to pass them off as your children.

12.  Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts, etc...in the

lunchroom.  When people complain that there was none...just lean back,

pat your stomach, and say, "Oh, you've got to be faster than that."

13.  Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks.  Once everyone has

gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.