Miata Mailing List: June 1998, Message #28

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-----Original Message-----
From: Ficarra, Lou <lou.ficarra@attws.com>

>Actually I'm going to dress up Phantom a bit to help with the macho
>image.  Louvers (sp?) on the rear glass,  Z28 decal on the sides,  bad
>boy etch on the glass windows,  a couple of chrome galloping horses here
>and there,  and mudflaps with the playboy bunny emblem on them.  Now
>that's manly.
>
>
>/Lou and his cute roadster,  The Phantom.


Lou, et.al.;
Below is a reprint of a post I made to the list last October about how to
make your Miata less girly.  This post got me in more trouble than any of
you can ever imagine, and I shall never divulge the details about the
repercussions of this post.  Since it was so fun the first time, I thought
I'd send it again and see if it still has an effect.  ;-) (please remember
that this is supposed to be comedy, don't get offended if you are of the
female persuasion)
-------------------------------------------------------

> It isn't a "girl's car", it is a "girly car".  I'm a girly man and I
> love my girly car.  Any attempts to redefine it as a manly car will be
> ignored.  We're here, we're girly, get used to it.
>
> Eric Hodges


I had to pimp up my car a little so it didn't look so girly.  Here's how:

1. Stickers- get some stickers.  Not bumper stickers, mind you, but some
decals that pertain to things girls don't usually understand.  I've yet to
meet a girl who remotely understands my Team Voodoo banner across the
windshield.  Every girl I know has asked me what the hell did I do that
for.

2. Color choice.  Get a manly color like red or black and get the windows
tinted dark (I haven't done that to Spider yet, but my '92 Black had real
dark windows).  Any color Miata can be made manly, however.

3. Fat tires-  Get some 15 x 7 or bigger wheels and run 50 series or lower
tires.  This gives the car a more muscular stance.  Nothing looks girlier
than wheels that don't fill out the fenders.  Other guys will say stuff
like "cool wheels, man". (Notice that they say "man", not "wuss")

4.  Get a subwoofer.  If your car thumps a little at stoplights, people
will know you are not gay.

5.  Try to look real mean when driving.  Girly men are not usually
mean-looking.

6.  Drive like a bat out of hell.  Girly men don't drive fast.

7.  Stripes.  I haven't done this YET either, but girls generally don't
like them.  Every girl I know has asked me why the hell do you want to do
that to your car.

8. Get some driving lights, girls don't seem to understand why I have
driving lights.  For that matter, most of the guys I know don't understand
that either, but some have said "Cool lights, man."

9.  Run in an autocross and talk about it a lot around the office.  People
think you are real "gonzo" for racing your car.  "Gonzo" dudes don't drive
girly cars.

10. Get a fat exhaust tip.  There's some kind of phallic association with
it.

11. Spoilers

12.  A SOLO I approved roll bar.  Real "gonzo" looking.

13. And if all else fails:  Mud flaps with chrome naked-girl silhouettes.

Of course, others may have other ideas for making their cars un-girly.  And
some of our esteemed girl/woman members of this list may have some methods
for making their cars more girly, which is ok, too.  You can do just a few
of the items above and still get the desired "manly car" effect.

Kevin Morrison and Spider, '94R+
Tampa, Florida, and other places...
kevin@sunriders.com
http://www.sunriders.com
http://www.mx5.net
"Kevin is one hip dood.  Very tight.  Hangs out at all the right places, and
knows where to go to have fun." - Eric Schwarzentraub