Miata Mailing List: March 2000, Message #67

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Lifted from "dave barry's guide to guys" pg 69.
Bob
Red 90A - Buckeye MC - MCA #170
----- Original Message -----
From: "Ronald Veenker" <Ronald.Veenker@wku.edu>

> This almost sounds like Dave Berry to me!
>
> Ron Veenker
>
>
> >Guys are born with a fundamental, genetically transmitted mental
condition
> >known to psychologists as:
> >
> >The Fear That If You Get Attached to a Woman, Some Unattached Guy,
> >Somewhere, Will Be Having More Fun Than You.
> >
> >This is why all married guys assume that all unmarried guys lead
> >lives of constant excitement involving hot tubs full of naked
international
> >fashion models; whereas in fact for most unmarried guys, the climax of
the
> >typical evening is watching an infomercial for Hair-in-a-Spray-Can while
> >eating onion dip straight from the container. (This is also true of
married
> >guys, although statistically they are far more likely to be using a
> >spoon.)
> >
> >So guys are extremely reluctant to make commitments, or even to take
> >any steps that might lead to commitment. This is why, when a guy goes out
> >on a date with a woman and finds himself really liking her, he often will
> >demonstrate his affection by avoiding her for the rest of his life.
> >Women are puzzled by this, "I don't understand," they say, "We had such a
> >great time! Why doesn't he call?"
> >
> >The reason is that the guy, using the linear guy thought process, has
> >realised that if he takes her out again, he'll probably like her even
> >more,so he'll take her out again, and eventually they'll fall in love
with
> >each other, and they'll get married, and they'll have children, and then
> >they'll have grandchildren, and eventually they'll retire and take  a
trip
> >round the world, and they'll be walking hand-in-hand on some spectacular
> >beach in the South Pacific, reminiscing about the lifetime of experiences
> >they've shared together, and then several naked international fashion
> >models will walk up  and invite him to join them in a hot tub, and he
won't
> >be able to do it.
>
> --
> Ronald A. Veenker
> Philosophy & Religion
> Western Kentucky University
> Bowling Green, KY 42101
> off:  270-745-5755
> fax:  270-745-5261
>
> "One day we will look back on this.... and plow into a parked car"
>
>
>